Why Do People Cheat: New Light On Infidelity
By Kelechi Ekeghe
on June 21, 2012
Infidelity is an age long problem most relationships never survive from, like any other problem we have set out to solve we must understand the root cause.
So the question is what’s the number one reason that people cheat?
While some may be quick to point to a desire for sex, experts suggests that more often than not, it’s emotional dissatisfaction that drives men and women to stray. Sexual dissatisfaction is the second most common cause for cheating.
Lynn R. Zakeri has this to say: “It may sound surprising, but many men are really looking for someone to connect with, to be their best friend and their intimate partner, and when they lose that connection in their marriage, they may look elsewhere.” Meanwhile, YourTango Expert Dr. Susan Heitler adds, “While there are many factors that can lead to an extramarital sexual encounter, emotional distance is one that couples can prevent. If there’s been distress, dissension or too much distance, take a marriage ed class to learn how to stay more comfortably connected.”
findings, released from a survey of 1,200 psychotherapists, counselors, coaches and other professionals. The experts also weighed in on the correlation between cheating and Facebook, with 50 percent agreeing that technology encourages cheating but only 7 percent indicating that Facebook has significantly increased the number of affairs among couples
While nearly 50% agree that technology is a catalyst for cheating, only 7% indicate that Facebook has increased the number of affairs significantly. 90% say that dating sites like Match.com just provide the opportunity; if someone wants to cheat, he/she will find a way regardless of the sites or services available.
The top two measures to prevent cheating are: (1) for both partners to feel valued and important to each other and (2) to have good communication. Satisfying sex clocked in third.
“This data is consistent with our previous research that underscores the real problem for most couples is less about sex and more about feeling valued and communicating successfully,” states Andrea Miller, CEO and Founder of YourTango. “And while 50% of affairs play out sexually, emotional affairs constitute the betrayal a whopping 40% of the time. It’s the lack of closeness that overwhelmingly leads to cheating and discord.”
So before you fight the Sister endowed next door for seducing your husband or the baba olowo (Rich man) for snatching your wife, as yourself; have we really been together.